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Not registered? Register here. In fact, thanks to Covid and lockdown, the size of the latter group has increased. The pandemic may have strengthened lots of relationships thanks to more time together, less with any one elsebut it also has brought failing ones into sharp relief thanks to more time together, less with anyone else. Lockdown is testing. Financial pressures are ramped up and parenting disparities highlighted are you a lesson planner or a PlayStation-as-childcare advocate?
Any distractions from ailing love, like going out with friends, daily gym sessions or the water-cooler chat at the office, are off limits. Any cracks are in plain sight. The stats bear it out. A recent BBC article focused on the pandemic causing a spike in break-ups. It says British law firm Stewarts logged a per cent increase in inquiries between last July and October, compared with the same period the year before.
But this is so much more than statistics and news content.
It means heartbreak for millions of people. And as everyone knows, heartbreak is pain like no other. Other pain that should morally and practically sit above it e. Because when mine was smashed into a million pieces there was nothing on the shelves that spoke to me, that offered a story I could relate to and advice I could adhere to.
I wanted to read something that would offer me comfort in the darkest of times and give me hope that brighter ones were coming. I wanted practical advice to get me out of the black hole I was in and to give me the tools and advice I needed to emerge from it all stronger, happier and more self aware. My husband and I had been together for 26 years, married for 15, when he said he wanted out.
I was blind-sided. I lost two stone. And my mind. I was determined to be honest about the rejection. When I wrote about my heartbreak I was overwhelmed by the response. So many people found such comfort in hearing my story. They started writing and messaging me to share theirs. With their permission I started putting their words on my Instagram and in the responses they found clarity and strength.
I also interviewed the experts on the effect heartbreak has on the brain and the body. Like grief, you progress through stages like shock, anger, denial and growth. You may skip some, or progress faster or slower through others, but it is a universal journey. I know from the thousands of messages I get that lockdown is a terrible time to experience a split.
I want to help fill that void, provide the humour just ask me about sexadvice and the hope you need to get through it. Your subconscious makes choices that sabotage your recovery. Research shows in a split you crave your ex as strongly as an addict does drugs. So treat your break up like a withdrawal process: go cold turkey and cut off contact with your partner.
Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and master coach Malminder Gill says we feel more anxiety over uncertainty than we do about negative experiences when they actually happen. Which is why we often call time on relationships before we get dumped. That way you get some control back and start the recovery process.
This might sound woo-woo but it works. Take some time out and imagine what you want from life.
Is it a cosy home, a fulfilling career, a new partner? Think about what that really looks like, in detail — it increases the possibility of it happening. So get the cosy blanket out of the drawer, light the fire and buy some fluffy slippers.
You think these little things are frivolous but they are a that you are being kind to yourself. And you need kindness right now. Online dating wisely can help you focus on moving forward. Follow Rosie on Instagram lifesrosie.
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ES Mag. Follow us:. Password Please enter a valid password. Submit Submit. By Rosie Green.How to heal his broken heart
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The Practical Guide to Healing a Broken Heart